Playing on the floor to transform the adult-child relationship

Every expert in education and developmental psychology will tell you: get down to a child’s level. To talk to them, to listen to them. But also — and above all — to play. Everyone on the mat, everyone at the same level, everyone equal. Eye contact, the quality of the bond, emotional availability… Discover why this practice is recommended.

Sitting cross-legged, squatting, on your lap, lying down… No matter the posture, as long as you join them on their playground: on the floor. Research that has directly examined the benefits of getting down to a child’s level to play with them is quite rare. At least, such studies do not focus on this variable alone, considered in isolation. On the other hand, there is an abundance of studies on the benefits of direct eye contact, joint attention, and leveling the playing field in interaction (all of which are consequences of this posture).

Eye contact and joint attention: two keys to learning communication

Infants and toddlers are the primary focus here. It has been widely demonstrated that early communication and social development in young children depend on the quality of the bond formed with adults. For them in particular, because their vision is still developing, the distance between faces strongly influences the quality of interaction.

According to a study published in the journal Scientific Reports¹, simply getting down to their level promotes comfortable, reciprocal eye contact. The research focused on infants aged 10 to 15 months. Needless to say, “eye-level” interactions at this age occur primarily when you take the time to join them on the floor.

Mutual eye contact plays a key role in early social communication, understanding intentions, socio-emotional development, and joint attention. Joint attention is defined as the ability to share an event with others, to capture and maintain attention, and to lay the groundwork for more advanced interactions.

From the adult’s perspective, being close to the child’s face offers a unique vantage point for observing the child’s expressions. Their subtle facial expressions, the movements of their eyes, what seems to bother them, what excites them, what scares them… Take a closer look. During a single play session, your little one can express a wide range of emotions. In addition to helping you better understand their personality, tastes, preferences, and sensitivities, this close proximity shows them that you’re receptive to what they’re expressing. Research on adult-child emotional interactions emphasizes that eye contact and the mutual interpretation of emotions are key components of a healthy relationship.

Reducing asymmetry in interaction

This issue has not been studied directly. However, the scientific literature shows that children are particularly sensitive to the nonverbal cues sent by the adults who care for them. A glance, a posture, body orientation, and facial expressions are all forms of information that children pick up on and analyze. Offering them the opportunity for this physical closeness — by getting down to their level — facilitates social engagement². They can read and understand you more easily, and, as a result, feel more comfortable interacting with you.

This “leveling the playing field” puts everyone on the same footing. When adults and children are on the ground, there’s no hierarchy. At least not in terms of height. The intimidating aspect of someone looking down on them from above is eliminated here. A little bonus: enjoying a playful moment is the perfect opportunity to lighten up, set aside everyday worries, and focus on a simple moment of leisure. Your attitude, when you play with them on the floor, is always more relaxed. They benefit from it, and so do you.

Mutual and engaged communication

From the earliest stages of communication, as mentioned earlier, and throughout the rest of a child’s life, the quality of interactions plays a crucial role in their development. The richer the communication exchanges, the more engaged the child’s attention, and the more attentive their gaze, the more comfortable the child will feel expressing themselves.

Positioning yourself close to them also sends a strong signal: they are being acknowledged, they are being listened to. This reciprocity in the exchange only prevails if you commit to being truly present. Not just physically — not with your bottom on the floor and your mind wandering elsewhere. To put it more clearly: your cell phone is set aside, your bills can wait a little while, and your little worries haven’t come to sit with you. You’ll have plenty of time to deal with them later.

Sharing a moment on the floor with the kids doesn’t always mean dedicating hours to it. Unless, of course, you have the time and enjoy it. In that case, go ahead and enjoy yourself. Even spending just a few minutes together — playing a little, reading a book, chatting, or giving a hug — is already a way of showing them that you’re there. And, of course, you should do this as often as possible.

The benefits of playing together

A systematic review³, which analyzed 39 studies, concluded that playful interactions between parents and children provide an ideal setting for children to develop a strong emotional bond, learn to regulate their emotions, and adjust their behavior. Provided, of course, that parents lead by example. For instance, don’t go out of your way to show them that you’re a terrible loser who complains at the slightest provocation. Children mimic what they see.

The conclusions of this systematic review are very clear: the more warm and responsive adults are during these play moments — and the more attuned they are to others’ reactions — the fewer behavioral difficulties the child will experience later on. Floor play lends itself perfectly to this context, since the adult is physically and emotionally present.

Three, two, one... let the rough-and-tumble begin!

When we talk about floor play, we’re also talking about friendly wrestling, chase games, tickling, and shoving — big or small... A little wrestling to let off steam, a few hugs for comfort, and a good laugh while teasing each other. A spin on Mom’s lap and off they go, galloping, galloping, galloping… All these floor-based interactions — more physical, more tactile — are known in English as “rough-and-tumble play” (RTP).

Excitement, joy, surprise — physical engagement is particularly important here. In fact, it has been studied quite extensively. Even more than a child’s motor development, the main benefits are observed in the quality of the relationship.

These moments create a strong emotional connection. According to a leading review⁴, RTP between parents and children fosters a relationship based on trust, cooperation, and mutual engagement. Do you see this as just rough-and-tumble play? The child sees it as a way to explore the world in a safe environment.

Generally speaking, recommendations to “get down to a child’s level” are based on broader knowledge, including the role of eye contact, joint attention, and nonverbal communication. Although these recommendations do not directly apply to playtime on the floor, such moments provide the perfect opportunity to put them into practice.

 

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