Children’s perspectives, or the art of living simply
Take a trip down memory lane. Picture your childhood, your carefree spirit, the joy that washed over you so easily. Just a moment of play, just a beautiful rainbow, just a snail on the lawn. That uplifting simplicity still lives within every adult. All it takes is realizing it to let it shine through. To do that, watch how children do it.
All little ones daydream about their adult lives. “When I grow up, I’ll be a veterinarian, a farmer, an astronaut, a gardener...” While they look toward the future, we “grown-ups” would do well to look more toward the past. Not out of nostalgia — unless that’s what your heart desires. Rather, to learn to refocus on what really matters — what our fast-paced lives cause us to lose sight of: simplicity as the key to happiness
The present moment: children enjoy what’s right in front of them
“Il en faut peu pour être heureux,” as the French song goes. Now that you have the tune in your head, you can easily picture how simple it is to let yourself be carried away — as long as you allow yourself to do so. When was the last time you took the time to watch an ant carry a piece of leaf back to its anthill? In your doctor’s waiting room, have you ever counted the tiles, from floor to ceiling? This morning, did you jump in the puddle that had formed in front of your front door, instead of meticulously avoiding it? As those clouds drift across the sky, have you ever wondered if they look more like an elephant or a pelican?
Children devote more of their attention to what is perceptible, right here and now. Why? Partly because their ability to mentally project into the past and future is still developing1.
Since they aren’t preoccupied with what comes next, they take the time to: refine a drawing, watch the waves break at their feet for a long time, pick out the best pebble for skipping, adjust the tower they’ve just built... This celebration of slowness is of major importance for an adult brain. Neuroscience has amply demonstrated that constantly jumping from one task to another impairs concentration2.
The trend of “multitasking” is detrimental to productivity. Do one thing at a time, and take your time. That is the secret to well-being, serenity, and maintaining optimal brain function.
Simple pleasures: finding joy in simplicity
What does it mean to be a successful adult? Does it mean having the nicest house, the nicest car, or a wardrobe full of the latest fashions? A child — as long as they haven’t been shaped by consumer society — doesn’t see their surroundings the same way.
Free from any outside influence, have you noticed how easily they find satisfaction in the most modest things? An ordinary cardboard box becomes an impregnable castle, reminding us that pleasure depends more on imagination than on the sophistication of the objects at our disposal.
Research in developmental psychology confirms that young children are strongly driven by intrinsic curiosity3. They explore objects and situations not because they are useful or prestigious, but because they are new, surprising, or interesting. Perhaps we should take a cue from them?
Spontaneity: a greater ease in reaching out to others
Two children who don’t know each other find themselves at the top of a slide at the same time. That’s all it takes to start a conversation. Researchers have often observed that children don’t need a specific goal or intention to interact with their peers4. From a very young age, they actively seek out the company of other children. Playing together is often motivation enough to initiate contact.
A smile, a word, and the conversation is underway. This ease is often lacking in adulthood. Yet there’s no need for deep philosophical discussions to enjoy meaningful social interaction. A simple “hello” to the person sitting next to you when you get on the bus, or a “thank you” to the person holding the door open for you as you enter the bakery — these are all opportunities to exchange a few words.
Of course, this won’t lead to a great friendship (who knows?). But you’ll find that these spontaneous interactions lift your spirits and make everyday life a little lighter.
Authenticity: feeling less self-conscious about being yourself
You didn’t quite understand the last point your boss brought up during the meeting. Still, you don’t dare ask for an explanation. Where adults hesitate so much, children don’t hesitate to ask spontaneously, “But why?” No, asking a question doesn’t mean you’re ignorant. It’s the very mark of curiosity, which — contrary to its bad reputation — is far from being a bad trait.
Between the ages of 2 and 5, and sometimes even beyond, the “why” phase is in full swing. A study published in Child Development5 showed that preschoolers don’t ask these questions just to keep the conversation going (even if it may seem that way after the tenth question that delays bedtime). They actively seek explanations and can clearly distinguish between truly explanatory answers and superficial ones. So there’s no point in trying to deflect their questions with a vague explanation, they’ll be sure to steer you right back to the subject of their curiosity.
Overall, children care much less about what others will think. This self-consciousness is shaped by the environment in which they grow up, the comments they hear, and the situations they witness. Hence the importance of showing kindness, to preserve their carefree nature as much as possible — a key to building greater self-confidence.
This simplicity in their relationships with others is also evident in their ease in expressing their emotions honestly. The internalization of social rules — which dictate that we filter our emotions in public — is acquired over time as we grow up6. Masking, toning down, or altering our emotional expressions does not come naturally. Of course, regulating emotions is essential. But to what extent? The next time you hold back tears at the movies, remember this. Why try to hide how you feel? If the movie moves you, experience it fully.
There’s no point in lying to ourselves: in the reality of adult life, simplicity tends to melt away like snow in the sun. Too many abstract concerns complicate everyday life. However, a rich life doesn’t have to mean a complicated one. Staying a little natural, learning to let go, enjoying the moment and the joys of the present — these are all lessons we can relearn simply by watching our children.
Sources :
- Angela Nyhout, Caitlin E.V. Mahy, Episodic thought in development: On the relation between memory and future thinking, Developmental Review,Volume 70, 2023, 101103, ISSN 0273-2297, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2023.101103
- Ophir E, Nass C, Wagner AD — "Cognitive control in media multitaskers" — Proc Natl Acad Sci USA, 2009 ; 106(37) : 15583-15587
- Haber, N., Mrowca, D., Fei-Fei, L., & Yamins, D. L. (2018). Emergence of Structured Behaviors from Curiosity-Based Intrinsic Motivation. Proceedings of the Annual Meeting of the Cognitive Science Society, 40
- National Research Council (US) and Institute of Medicine (US) Committee on Integrating the Science of Early Childhood Development; Shonkoff JP, Phillips DA, editors. From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2000. 7, Making Friends and Getting Along with Peers
- Frazier et al. Preschoolers' Search for Explanatory Information Within Adult-Child Conversation. Child Development, 2009; 80 (6): 1592 DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01356.x
- Janice Zeman, Judy Garber, Display Rules for Anger, Sadness, and Pain: It Depends on Who Is Watching, Child Development, Volume 67, Issue 3, June 1996, Pages 957–973, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1996.tb01776.x
